Dale's road to success

As my husband, Greg, and I began approaching our later years, we started to think about how we would enjoy our impending retirement, planning holidays and how we would spend our time together. Little did we know that everything in our lives would change in 2004.

In a matter of weeks, we went from doting grandparents to legal guardians of my seven-and-a half-year-old grandson, Dale.

Instead of planning holidays and easing into a comfortable retirement, we found ourselves packing lunchboxes and buying clothes for school.

Adding to the trials of re-living parenthood so late in life was an additional challenge – Dale has an intellectual disability.

When Dale was an infant, it was clear he wasn’t developing as expected. He was hitting key milestones far later than other children his age. After various tests, he was diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay.

Developmental Delay is a term used when a child is developing skills more slowly than other children in the same age group; Global Developmental Delay is when more than one area of development is affected. Global Developmental Delay affects cognitive development, as well as motor skills, speech, social and emotional development. It can also mean children living with the condition struggle with daily activities, such as eating and dressing.

From the moment he came into our care, Dale required full time support.

We had to set boundaries for him, which he often liked to push. While he was generally a mild-mannered boy, he was highly active, always on the go, which was exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

We had very little idea of what services were available to support us and Dale, and the frustrations we endured while attempting to find desperately-needed funding, and fighting legal and bureaucratic barriers certainly meant it was not an easy road.

It was a trying time; we knew that early intervention and targeted programs could significantly improve the outcomes for people with Global Developmental Delay, so we wanted to make sure we could provide Dale with the appropriate support immediately. Like most families supporting someone with intellectual disability, we not only want Dale to survive, but to thrive and live a long, fulfilling life.

My constant worry was for Dale’s future. Would he be able to get a job? Where would he live when we got older? And our greatest fear: who would support him when we no longer could?

We were fortunate. Dale undertook work experience at Minda’s laundry services while he was at school and has been working there for the past year. He will begin working there full time soon and will move into supported accommodation with Minda.

Although he is excited now, our initial discussions with Dale about moving out of our family home were difficult and ended in tears; he felt very anxious about leaving the home setting and was fearful of the unknown. He had his reservations, as did we, although we knew it was the best decision for his future.

Dale will live in a beautiful home in the community, not too far from us. It is a huge relief to know he will be in an environment that gives him the independence he craves, but also the necessary support to help him get by on a day-to-day basis. Dale, too, is excited and is even looking forward to having us over for a barbeque!

We feel so lucky to have been given the opportunity to watch Dale grow into the wonderful young adult he is today. Like most young men, he is mad about sports, especially soccer, computer games and car racing. He swims regularly and enjoys weekly ten pin bowling. But one of his greatest loves is painting.

He uses painting as a way of expressing himself and I am proud that he has sold numerous pieces. He hopes to hang some of his artwork in his new bedroom.

As I reflect back over the past 10 years, there is no doubt that the role of becoming a parent the second time around has been challenging emotionally, physically and financially. But at the same time, the unconditional love we feel for Dale and the satisfaction that has come from being able to protect and nurture him has been truly amazing.

Being able to support him as both his grandmother and primary caregiver has meant I have had the most rewarding relationship with him. Although at times challenging, it is a role I take very seriously and I consider it a great privilege.

- Kate